Reasons to Fear Monkeys
by
Eric J. Bargerhuff, Ph.D. &
Scott Swain, Ph.D.
The
following list comes after much reflection and despair over the nature of those
things we call monkeys. As children growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, we had
many reasons to fear these beasts. And even today, as this list will show,
there is still warrant for such fear.
TOP TEN and then some
1. The Wizard of Oz – those flying monkeys that make weird sounds and carry you off to
nether land.
2. Viet Cong Guerilla Warfare – What a frightening phrase. We heard this on the
news when we were little, and for all we knew they did nothing but kill us in
the middle of the night.
3. King Kong – he grabs people and can even climb tall buildings to get you.
4. The Planet of the Apes – here is the ultimate fear! They are monkeys that
ride horses, can talk in English, rule the world, and hunt down and shoot human
beings.
5. Donkey Kong – even in our video games as kids we were afraid of the monkeys who
sought to destroy a poor innocent Italian guy named Mario.
6. Abominable Snowman – no one knows what this thing is, but surely he has to be a monkey.
Like that guy on the Rudolph the Rednose reindeer claymation show; We don’t
care if he had a tooth problem that the dentist fixed, or that he was able to
put a star on the top of the tree. He’s terrifying.
7. Grape Ape – a large bass-voice animal with swinging arms. A cartoon from the
early 80’s.
8. “Monkey see, Monkey do” – many of us were reminded as kids that this is how
our sin nature works.
9. Monkeys at Zoos – they are hyper, they scream loud at you, and if you get too close
they bite (and throw poo at you).
10. “Monkeying Around” – again, a phrase that our parents used to describe
our sin nature. Similar to #8.
11. Monkey Pox – the disease speaks for itself.
The Only Positive
Monkey on Record
Curious
George
He is our hope that the
whole mess of them are not spawns of the devil.
This list comes a result of
much late night reflection among friends while doing a doctoral degree.
