Meeting a True Shepherd

I am up north this week enjoying Pastors Conference at Moody Bible Institute. I love Moody’s conference because they do such a good job of ministering to the pastor’s soul, whereas many other conferences I’ve been to in recent years have been all about ideological battles that have been seeking to engage the mind. To be fair, those issues are critical and important but sometimes you just need to take a break from that and let your soul just sing and soak in God’s presence. That’s how I feel at Moody.

I met a man yesterday who was sitting alone in the chapel at Moody in between sessions who was in his mid-60’s and has been a pastor for some 39 years. He was now close to retirement. He was a delightful, winsome man with a genuine spirit that you knew had been seasoned and prayed up for quite some time. His pleasant tone was surely that of a shepherd. And I thought to myself…this is what I want to look like in 25 years.

He had stories to tell of God’s goodness and grace, as well as human struggles that are naturally a part of serving in ministry. He’d seen God move in his life and ministry in so many ways. He’d seen bouts of great victory and depths of deep sin in the church over his some 40 years of ministry. No doubt his heart was a little tired but was once again getting renewed. His elders had given him a sabbatical to enjoy some peace and rest, and Moody conference was a part of that gift.

I found myself in deep admiration of this man, and before our hour long conversation ended, I told him that guys like him were heroes to 40 year old pastors like me. To see his perseverance in ministry and his heart for the church was inspiring at so many levels. And though I did not really know him I thanked him. I thanked him for running the race with faithfulness to the Gospel and to the Lord’s people. And as I thanked him, I saw tears well up in his eyes. His soft heart was wide open before me, and it was a beautiful sight. A true shepherd. A real soldier. A faithful minister. A humble man. A man of greatness, courage, and strength. I am glad I met him. I hope someday to be just like him.

Baptism in the New Testament

The Bible mentions the word baptism numerous times in the New Testament, and depending upon context, it can have a variety of meanings. Therefore, it is important for the believer to understand what we mean by the term baptism. Usually, when we speak of baptism today in the church, we refer mainly to “water baptism” that takes place after someone has made a profession of faith in Christ (see picture at right). However, it is important to note that in other places in Scripture there may be something else being referred to other than what we normally understand. Let’s start this blog series by looking at three understandings of baptism that we don’t normally think of.

1) John’s Baptism [John the Baptist] – Matthew 3:1-11; Mark 1:1-8; Luke 3:1-18; John 1:19-28.

John’s ministry was primarily two-fold. First, his role in redemption history is that of a messenger, where he prophetically announced to all Israel the arrival of their long awaited Messiah (see especially, John 1:31). Second, John’s ministry also included what was known as a “baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins” (Mk. 1:4). This baptism was provided so that Israel might prepare themselves spiritually for the new work of God that was to be seen in the ministry of Jesus. The baptism was performed after repentance and confession, and the baptism served as a symbolic proclamation of spiritual cleansing and setting oneself apart (consecration) for God. (cf. Ex. 19:10-11) It was a call to holiness, righteousness, and repentance, whereby many responded.

Further, the baptism that John performed was a one-time event in Israel’s history in preparation for the Messiah. However, the message and principle of repentance is still an essential element of saving faith and should be an ongoing expression of the Christian life where one seeks to set oneself apart from sin. For even today as Christians, though we are forgiven and are ongoing recipients of God’s grace, we still struggle with the flesh, and God’s call for us to embrace holiness ought to be a daily pursuit. Dr. Wayne Grudem helps us understand the nature of repentance in his helpful definition: “Repentance is a heartfelt sorrow for sin, a renouncing of it, and a sincere commitment to forsake it and walk in obedience to Christ.” Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994), p. 713.

2) The Baptism of Jesus – The announcement from both heaven and earth of the Messianic mission and an example for us to follow. – Matthew 3:13-17; Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22; John 1:29-34.

Jesus’ baptism was not a baptism of repentance but was rather to be seen as an official announcement or affirmation of several things. For example, Jesus’ baptism served as…

A) an affirmation of the ministry of John the Baptist, his message of repentance, and the standard of righteousness he was calling Israel to embrace.

B) an opportunity for Jesus to express his commitment to live a life of perfect obedience to the will of God and to the godly standard of righteousness that John was calling other people to.

C) a way to express his willingness to identify with sinners and to submit to things that were meant for sinners only. Ultimately this would foreshadow and find its greatest expression in Jesus’ death on the cross, where a sinless man willingly took on the just punishment for human sin.

D) an example for us, as we likewise express our desire before the entire believing community to be set apart for God and follow his will.

E) the divine announcement of Jesus’ fulfillment of prophecy as the Messiah (see Isaiah 42:1-4; Psalm 2:7) and coronation of the King of Kings for His anointed and powerful ministry on the earth. [Note: Jesus was filled with the Spirit before this moment, and so the visible manifestation of the Holy Spirit’s descent upon Jesus served as an expression of God’s special anointing].

Jesus’ baptism also gives us some practical things to consider. First, it communicates the importance of making a commitment to obey God and to seek and live out His will for our lives. Second, it calls us to recognize Jesus for who He really is (the King, our Savior, and Lord) and to give him the rightful reign in our hearts as we share in the blessings of His kingdom. And then finally, the text communicates the value of affirmation (in this text – Jesus’ affirmation of John the Baptist and God the Father’s affirmation of the Incarnated Son of God) and provides us with an example of how we ought to proactively affirm the ones we love, especially as we see them following the will of God.

3) The Baptism With/In the Holy Spirit – The mark of the beginning of the Christian life. – Matthew 3:11; Mark 1:8; Luke 3:16; John: 1:33; 1 Cor. 12:12-13.

In the Gospels we learn that Jesus would be the one who would perform what is known as a baptism in/with the Holy Spirit on all those who are true believers and who have accepted Him as their Lord and Savior. This baptism is not a literal water baptism, but is an unseen "spiritual baptism" given at the beginning of the Christian life at our conversion whereby we are spiritually washed, spiritually made alive or born again with the Spirit (Titus 3:5), adopted into the family of God, justified, and incorporated into the body of Christ (“the Church,” 1 Cor. 12:13). One example of the power of the baptism with the Holy Spirit is found in our ability to make a break with the sinful life that we were once enslaved to, thanks to the indwelling Holy Spirit that is now at work within us. Indeed, the Holy Spirit was active at times in the Old Testament, even empowering, enabling, and filling a select few leaders in Israelite history. However, we do not see Him baptizing and indwelling all who believe like we see in the New Testament, and so we are a blessed people to be living by faith in this age.

Though we see the baptism with the Holy Spirit happening at Pentecost where 120 believers were speaking in foreign tongues, we understand this to be a transitional time in biblical history where the Spirit of God was first poured out in fullness at the dawning of the New Covenant or Church age (Acts 1:5). The purpose of speaking in tongues was that it was to be a sign for non-believing Jews (cf. 1 Cor. 14:22) that the kingdom of God was breaking into the world in great power and that Jesus was indeed their promised Messiah. Since this was a one-time transitional event in biblical history, we should not expect this to be the pattern for us today. In addition, Paul argues that we experience our baptism in the Holy Spirit at conversion (1 Cor. 12:13).

However, there does seem to be times today when the Holy Spirit will cause a Christian to go through a big moment or time of spiritual growth, where someone may experience a powerful movement of God in their hearts and go through a fresh time of renewal, cleansing, and empowerment for ministry. Yet this should not be understood as an additional baptism in the Holy Spirit since this would contradict Paul’s teaching in 1 Cor. 12:13, where all of us receive the baptism at conversion and are incorporated into the body of Christ. Hypothetically speaking, if some would receive an additional baptism with the Holy Spirit later in their Christian life, then this could set up the potential to have two different classes or categories of Christians -- those that have this additional baptism and those that don’t, and this could lead to a divided church, the very point Paul was arguing against in 1 Cor. 12.

Paul did say to be filled with the Spirit in Ephesians 5:18, but this is simply a command to give the Holy Spirit (whom we have received in fullness at our conversion) more and more control of our lives, daily surrendering to His influence as He causes us to grow and helps us become more like Christ. In other words, to be filled with the Spirit is to increasingly surrender our lives to God’s control.

What a blessing it is to know that we receive the baptism with the Holy Spirit (a gift given to us by Jesus himself) at our moment of conversion, and that we are brought into the kingdom of God, incorporated into the body of Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, justified, cleansed, made spiritually alive (reborn), and begin the process of sanctification (a term used to describe spiritual growth as we become more like Christ in our knowledge, character and lifestyle). Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! NEXT: We will look at the New Testament teaching on believer's baptism by immersion.

New Book Reaches Publication

I am thankful for a long project that has come to completion with the publication of Love That Rescues: God's Fatherly Love in the Practice of Church Discipline. This work is now available online via Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as the publisher's website, http://www.wipfandstock.com/. You will find it under the tab "new books" and can click on the book to take you to its main page. Below you will find a description of the book as provided by the back cover and some endorsements. It is humbling to see God at work in this, and it is for His glory that this book was written. May it be an aid to the church, and specifically to professors, seminarians, pastors, teachers, and lay leaders who desire to be faithful in presenting the Gospel and living out its implications for all of life.

Book Description:

In an age where "church discipline" has fallen out of favor in the context of many churches, Eric Bargerhuff calls the church to a deeper understanding of its nature and purpose as an expression of God's "fatherly love" towards his people. As a biblically mandated activity instituted by Christ himself in Matthew 18, church discipline is an essential practice of any faithful church that is committed to sharing the Gospel and making disciples.

Tackling some of the false notions and assumptions surrounding church discipline, Bargerhuff sets forth a historical, biblical, theological, and practical position that centers its identity and purpose on a proper understanding of the cross of Christ. Since the punitive wrath of God was poured out for sin on the cross of Jesus Christ (a penal substitutionary atonement), it is therefore necessary to reject the notion that church discipline is "punishment," but rather it should be seen as God's hand of forgiveness and grace extended for the purpose of restoring, reconciling, and rescuing one of his own, a "sheep that has gone astray." It is to be regarded as God's love in the actions of a forgiven and forgiving community.

Endorsements:

"Here is a biblically rooted, theologically formed, and long overdue case for conceiving church discipline as a loving practice of the church. Bargerhuff flies against the prevailing cultural winds that lead most of us, when we hear mention of 'discipline,' to complete the phrase with the other part of Foucault's title: '. . . and punish.' The evangelical church—and not only the evangelical!—desperately needs to recover this neglected church practice as an important means of edification, if not of grace itself."

—Kevin J. Vanhoozer
Blanchard Professor of Theology
Wheaton College Graduate School

"This is a wise, insightful, practical, and theologically rich study of the teaching of the entire Bible about God's loving discipline of his children. It will challenge every church to exercise discipline according to Scripture, lest the church itself fall under God's discipline through unfaithfulness."

—Wayne Grudem
Research Professor of Theology and Biblical Studies
Phoenix Seminary, Phoenix, Arizona

"Viewing [church discipline] as an incarnate expression of God's fatherly discipline, Bargerhuff helps us understand church discipline as a necessary part of being a forgiven and forgiving community. I recommend this book very highly to all who long to see the church flesh out God's dual commitment to ethical and doctrinal purity and to his forgiving, restoring, rescuing love."

—Steven C. Roy
Associate Professor of Pastoral Theology
Trinity Evangelical Divinity School

Why Did Jesus Weep?

So the shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35. We memorized this little bit of trivia when we were kids for all the Bible games and such that we played in "church circles." It reads "Jesus wept," and when you are thinking of the perfect Son of God crying, it surely catches your attention.

So what is this all about?

The Story of Lazarus

Jesus performed a lot of miracles during his ministry. Healed the sick, walked on water, turned water into wine; calmed the storm. But a few of the more dramatic miracles he performed was when he raised people from the dead.

One of those he raised was actually a friend of Jesus, named Lazarus. You see, word had come to Jesus that Lazarus was sick, and would soon die. But instead of running to his bedside quickly to prevent his death, Jesus waited for several more days. Nobody understood why, but Jesus knew.

He wanted to show them the extent of His power. His power over death.

So when he finally did leave to go to Lazarus’ house, Lazarus had already died and was buried. And His sisters were devastated. And this is where the story picks up in the Gospel of John.

17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸ Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. ²⁰ When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.

²¹ "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."

²³ Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."

²⁴ Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."

²⁵ Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; ²⁶ and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

²⁷ "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ "Where have you laid him?" he asked.

"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

³⁵ Jesus wept.

That last verse is what puzzles me the most. Jesus wept. Now think about this for a minute. Jesus knew good and well that he was about ready to perform a miracle; that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead in front of the eyes of everyone.

In fact, that’s why he waited – because he knew Lazarus would die and then he would come later and display his power by raising Him from the dead. So… why is he crying? Why is Jesus crying when in a matter of moments the situation would be different, and everybody would be rejoicing? Why does He weep?

You see I believe that Jesus understands the pain and grief that comes with the loss of someone you love, and He was identifying with that pain. He knows what it’s like. He knows the fear. The sting. The empty feeling. The shock. The grief.

So He’s a God we can take comfort in. He’s a God who can relate to us. But more than that, He’s a God who holds power over death. This is the great hope we have as Christians – that

Jesus was willing to identity with us. And the most profound way He did this while on earth was to take our place by being crucified on the cross for our sins, only to once again display power over death by being raised from the dead as well.

Jesus said to Martha, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.” And these are the truths that Scripture teaches us. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. If you think about it then, this guy had to die twice! Not cool. But Lazarus was not afraid to die -- for he knew who had the power over death. And so do we -- those who believe.

The Joy of True Friendships

Over the last two blogs, we have highlighted some of the difficult things that can happen in life concerning friendships. First, it is a reality of life that some friends will walk away from their professed faith for a number of reasons. Secondly, we touched on the fact that Satan seeks to attack and separate true friends, and that we should be overly sensitive to the impact sin can have and protective of our friendships in the body of Christ.

But rather than running the risk of sounding too negative, we will end this three part series on a much more positive note – the value of godly friendship.

There are very few things in life that are more valuable than true godly friendship. The Ancient Proverbs says that “a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov. 17:17). It is true that the most meaningful friends are the ones that last through the hardships and triumphs of life, friendships that are based on mutual respect, forgiveness, companionship, trust, and love. A friend is one who can see you for who you really are, ugly warts, sin, and all – and still love you and stick with you no matter what.

These are rare jewels. Rare finds. But the truest friendships are nothing short of miraculous blessings from God. They are relationships that span distances and time. For example, I have some friends in far away places that I haven’t seen in years, but in picking up the phone, we can have a profoundly direct and weighty conversation and can achieve a level of depth almost instantly whereby there is immediate connection, empathy, and mutual understanding. You can be yourself and share your true feelings without being judged or misunderstood. And the encouragement, affirmation, accountability, and affection shared has a way of nourishing the soul instantly.

Your true friends are the ones that are quick to forgive and are not simply in the relationship for what they can get out of it. They aren’t simply sponges, but are those who are committed to giving generously with the primary motive of love. In this way, it is definitely true that the richest and purest friendships on earth are those that are shared between Christians. For the foundation of such friendships is the love of God, the One who has truly defined love for us.

There is an openness and honesty within a great friendship. I recently had a friend tell me that when he talks to me he doesn’t feel like he has to be “on his game” but can actually let his guard down and just be himself, relaxed and transparent. That was such a compliment to me. And the feeling is mutual. I can laugh and make mistakes in front of this friend and he will love me just the same – a true brother. I praise God for him.

It is true that each one of us will at some point be required to give an account of himself to God (Rom. 14:12). And one of the ways that God prepares us for that is by giving us friends here and now to which we can give an account. Like iron sharpening iron, an accountability partner or friend is a must for anyone who wants to live a godly life that pleases God. In this way, the wisdom of Ecclesiastes is put into practice. For Solomon wrote,

^{ECC 4:10} If one falls down,his friend can help him up.But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? ¹² Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Indeed, Christians must have accountability relationships and friendships. But in order to have such a friend, you must first begin by having a willingness to be such a friend. You have to be willing to open your life and heart to someone else. You must learn the value of and practice unconditional love, selfless giving, and humility yourself. If you do this, you will find that you will acquire a great many friends, ones that will last a lifetime. And you will be best prepared to be the kind of friend that people want.

Speaking metaphorically, Aristotle said that a friend is like “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” I like that picture, for it shows how yoked together two friends really are. “Soul mates” as we would say.

Commit yourself to being the kind of friend that somebody would want to have. Loyal, true, open, honest, with a true servant's heart -- full of love. As you walk with the Spirit, you will overflow with God’s love and this will enrich your relationships. In fact, you will see the quality of your friendships increase, and the numbers thereof as well. Therefore, the depth of your relationship with God will directly impact the quality of the friendship that someone may find in you.

God truly blesses Christian friendships. May you find this to be true in your life as you walk with the Lord this Christmas season. Hold on to your friends. Love them unconditionally, and in doing so you, yourself will be blessed.

When Satan Attacks Friendships - Friends that Fall Away from Each Other

In keeping with the similar theme of my last blog, it is another human reality (and a tragic one at that) to have friendships that become strained and even come to an end during the course of one's life. Even good Christian friendships slip in this regard, such that all Christians should be on their guard against it. I recently heard a sermon by one of my favorite preachers, Dr. James MacDonald, and in his message he said he has been absolutely stunned by how even Christians “burn bridges” with one another. (See his message series entitled “Balcony People Build Bridges” available on his podcast).

In true Christian circles, the theme should be “once a friend, always a friend.” But personal agendas, fear, pride, critical spirits, inappropriate judging, jealousy, selfishness, hypocrisy, misunderstandings, poor communication, control battles, private sins, and unmet expectations are often the majority of reasons for much of the relationship tensions, withdrawals, and severances that happen today among Christian friends. (I'm sure there are other things that I didn't mention that could be added.)

Now I never thought I would borrow the overused song lyric from the 80’s coined by Michael W. Smith, but it is true that friends should be friends forever “if the Lord’s the Lord of them.” Instead of “bridge burners,” Christians should be filled with such grace that they should be continual “bridge builders.” MacDonald talked about the fact that many times he’s had friends who have distanced themselves and broken off the friendship even though he never did, stating “there’s some people that I wish would be friends with me but they won’t anymore, though I’m still willing.”

Now people change. Let’s be real here. And when that happens, relationships are bound to change. No one is saying that the level of reciprocating affection in a relationship will always remain constant or increasing. I don’t think that’s a realistic expectation. People move away. Interests change. Shared experiences don’t always happen every day. Differences in opinion and preferences occur. But at the baseline level, there should always be an ongoing cordiality, spiritual and relational connection, and a genuine friendly interest in someone else’s life within the circle of all Christians. If we are truly committed to forgiveness like we say we are, then friendships should always stay in tact to some degree. We are family -- brothers and sisters for eternity, equally saved by grace.

It is when “roots of bitterness” take hold, based on any number of reasons, that relationships can crash like the stock market. The writer of Hebrews said, “see to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15) Any of the sins I mentioned above in paragraph two could lead to bitterness that causes relational trouble and defilement. But it’s interesting to note that the Scriptures here give indication that relationships that fail not only affect the immediate parties, but they can affect the whole community of faith. One friendship that tanks can bring many others down with it.

Therefore we must be overly protective and supportive of each other and careful with our friendships in the body of Christ, lest we give the devil a foothold. These are people with whom we will spend eternity, and so we better seek to maintain them here on earth. Thus the emphasis on reconciliation among believers by Jesus (Matt. 5:23-24; Matt. 18:15-17) and even among the Apostles (e.g. Eph. 4:25-32; Col. 3:12-14; 1 Pet. 4:8-9) was meant to preserve what God has chosen to build, namely, his church. Surely there are people in the church that we will like more and relate better to than others – BUT we must be on guard against “cliques,” preferential prejudices, judgmental sarcasm, and stereotyping within the body of Christ. God has meant for all of us to embrace each other as brothers and sisters, being patient and forgiving and friendly to one another. At the heart of such success in relationships is the virtue of humility, the kind of humility modeled by Jesus who stooped down as a servant to wash the feet of his disciples. In fact, I would argue that humility as at the root of thriving relationships among Christians.

Perhaps this is why Jesus is now willing to call each of us his friends (John 15:14-15), because he was willing to abandon status and privilege and embrace a humble life, and in doing so made many eternal “friendships” that are based on the principles of reconciliation and forgiveness, a reconciliation and forgiveness that he himself provided for in his death on the cross.

So guard your friendships. They are precious. Be a person of grace. Seek forgiveness and reconciliation if needed. Protect the reputation and unity of the body of Christ. Don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought. Embrace an attitude of humility. Seek mutual understanding. Give someone the benefit of the doubt. Be the mature one who is never willing to withdraw unless it is clear you have to for biblical reasons (1 Cor. 5:11). And above all, put on love, which always binds believers together for all eternity. These friendships we have in Christian circles have been forged by God, and what God has joined together, let no one or no thing separate.

When Friends Fall Away or Walk Away From the Faith

Many seasoned Christians will tell you that if you live long enough, you are bound to have friends that fall away from the faith. Friends who, for no apparent reason, walk away from what they have professed to believe for years, or who fall into a certain line of teaching that is clearly unbiblical. Others fall prey to temptation and shipwreck their faith and witness. It is a sad sight to see, a grievous reality, but not uncommon.

What are we to make of this? How are we to respond?

First, we would do well to be reminded that this is not something new. The Apostle Paul often mourned the loss of friends and partners in ministry, as there were some who embraced false teaching, some who fell prey to the love of money, some who simply were caught up in worldliness, the list could go on. Among them are names like Demas (2 Tim. 4:9) and Phygelus and Hermogenes (2 Tim. 1:15). Especially painful for Paul was the desertion of many who were unwilling to support him when times got tough. Yet even then Paul was willing to forgive – his love for them held fast saying, “may it not be held against them.” (2 Tim. 4:16)

The Apostle John, one of the inner three disciples of Christ who perhaps lived the longest and saw the longest portion of the church’s early history, reported that some people who refused to remain in the faith actually proved that they had never truly been converted and incorporated into the church. He wrote:

“They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” ~1 John 2:19

Others who have not been trained, lack discernment gifts, or grounding in sound theology can also be easily swayed by experiences or cultural trends that they are unable to sort out through a biblical lens or put in proper perspective. When this happens the impact of such dramatic experiences may cause them to question their underlying assumptions of what they’ve traditionally been taught or it may cause them to find a way to reinterpret the Scriptures to support their experience. In either case they may leave the church.

Surely everything that we’ve taught should be tested – but if it’s truth it should pass the test. The true danger lies in having “an experience” with God and rather than using the Word of God as a filter to interpret it, the person finds a way to discover a proof text and twist the Scripture out of its proper context in order to legitimize what they “already believe and are convinced of.”

It has been my experience that cultural, societal, and political trends have had a huge impact on the church’s reading of Scripture and the implementation of church practice. Surely this is true of every age to some degree, but I think it has been much worse on the evangelical church in America today.

But to our main point, this is why some friends have wandered off into bad teaching or poor church practice or have left the church altogether due to experiences that they have been ill-equipped to handle, sort out, or interpret.

Further, though the church should always be prayerfully seeking reform, it is true that there are some discontented Christians who are so fed up with the church for one reason or another that their cynical spirits and bitter attitudes have driven them into areas of belief and church practice that are clearly out of bounds in a biblical sense. Unfortunately, they may lack the grace and maturity to patiently reason with one another, and as a result they would rather distance themselves and go their own way. A sad but common reality, and relationships can be severed.

And then finally, some have not rejected the faith so much as they have rejected the church because of a horrible experience or a lack of grace that they may have encountered from immature believers who did not know how to handle someone else’s sin, failures, or differences in perspective. Some of these people take years to recover from something like this – and it is not always their fault. But it still results in a rejection of the “community of faith.”

So the three reasons we’ve covered are this (and they are not meant to be exhaustive): Some fall away relationships or the church because they never really believed in the first place. Some fall away because they are ill prepared or equipped to handle winds of bad teaching or experiences that they do not know how to interpret biblically. And then finally, some have walked away simply because they’re angry and impatient or have legitimately been hurt. They don’t have the energy to persevere or desire to forgive.

So what is our response? Love. Sympathy. Grace. Humility. Patience. While at the same time, we should be committed to prayer for them, always willing to engage and embrace, and prepared to defend the faith. Perhaps in some cases we should even be apologetic if the friend was genuinely hurt for unjustifiable reasons. Live long enough, and this will undoubtedly happen to you. But we must remember, that the kind of Christ-like love we are called to is the kind of radical love that imitates our Savior, the One who loved us even while we were yet sinners (Rom. 5:8). If our loving God was willing to leave the comforts and privileges of heaven to come here and sacrificially give his life towards those who were hostile to him, how much more should we seek to love those who have turned, walked away from, or rejected us, the church, or the faith for one reason or another?

Don’t give up on them. No matter what. Keep preaching, speaking, and living the Gospel. Pray, and love unconditionally. Be prepared to give an answer for the hope you have, and season everything with grace. You may “win your brother or sister over.”